claire can't see me.

a mom who is cooler in words than in life.

Archive for October, 2007

for baby sisters turning 15

a love song for 15
—–
i promise you
nothing new
will happen tomorrow
nothing so amazingly different
will change the distance between 14 & 15
& the 12 years that have passed since i leaped over that time line
i promise you
no one will ever understand you
until you understand you
& you won’t understand shit
until you learn to listen
& not to the ill advice pouring out your ipod
but to women who’ve made it past 15 with battle scars
& bruised knees
until you hear our love songs
that we wail into the night sky when we can’t find you
you won’t appreciate real love
until you stop hating yourself so much
purposefully breaking your back on bare floors for bravery
assuming that this means you could handle womanhood already
sideways struttin’ in a pretend protest
i promise you
you’re not getting back at anybody else
but yourself
you keep trying to prove a point with your life
to teach old dogs new tricks called fatherhood
& it never worked out for any of us half girls half women
looking for a savior in danger
putting ourselves up for collateral at poker games
where truth is the wild card that some half boys half men
haven’t learned how to play correctly just yet
so its inevitable that you’ll end up losing
more than you own
right now
hear me
i promise you
that we’ve all been there
we’ve all dangled our legs over the wall of 14
we’ve popped gum & padded our bras
made crank calls & dance routines
ignored the right boys giving the wrong ones invitations inside
we’ve all blamed our mommas &missed our daddies
& we all thought we were right
even when we knew we were wrong
we made twin sized beds out of excuses
big enough for two
so our boyfriends would fit & find beauty
at the end of the tunnel
we were always left
holding the bag of our issues
as a makeshift step ladder to climb over
the next wall
i promise you
that you won’t understand this
until you’ve torn a few holes in a few pairs of jeans
so I won’t waste the breath telling you to listen to me
anymore
than I would have heard my momma/aunt/friend’s sister tell me
all the same things
but I promise you
you’ll make it through
just remember
only you will have to live with you
when you’re finished being 15.