claire can't see me.

a mom who is cooler in words than in life.

Archive for June 1, 2009

Do you get paid, though?

I started interning this summer. Decided to forgo trying to rush graduate this fall in exchange for working as free labor in my field.  (Reminder: never use the words “free labor” & field” when describing internship again.) The position isn’t interesting enough to dedicate a blog entry to…but I wanted to tell you this story.

So, Nina is besides herself that her mommy has a job. She’s telling people at school that I’m a doctor. I’m working at the hospital, so its kind of the same…I guess. We’re at the dinner table having a conversation about my new gig.

Nina: Do you like being a doctor now Mommy?
Me: I’m not a doctor.
Nine: Oh. (sad face) But don’t you work at the hospital?
Me: Yep, as a buyer.
Nina: Oh. That’s cool. What do you do?
Me: Buy stuff for the hospital.
Nina: Well, how much does that pay?
Me: Nothing.
Nina: Well, I don’t wanna be THAT when I grow up.

Scene.

And, I’m figuring out that I don’t wanna grow up to be that either. Even if they paid me. Though, I gotta admit, I love going to work in office clothes. The whole ritual appeals to me. Getting up, rushing in the morning, “needing to get my coffee”, and speeding out the door briefcase in hand. BUT that’s the only part of the routine I like. Lawd knows, I want to like it. Like settling for the dude that’s nice & sorta cute. The problem is that I base my whole existence on “what if”…

I have a girlfriend that said that your job is your job, it doesn’t need to be your purpose in life. An occupation is the means at which you can afford to go after your purpose/passion.

Which sounds okay. But, no matter how much logic you attach to it, still smells/sounds/tastes like settling to me.

I don’t feel like finishing this thought or else I’ll end up erasing this whole blog.

In other glorious & broke news: we’re home owners again. Which explains my prolonged departure from you. My new office is still filled with boxes of trash & memories but they are all located behind me…out of sight out of mind. But yeah…I’m full blown suburban now.

OH YEAH! Mail man is here!* Benjamin Button is in the mail!! WooHooo.

* My window faces the street.

Well, dear invisible friends, this is what settling looks like. :-p

Get ready to get old.

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