claire can't see me.

a mom who is cooler in words than in life.

(practice)

i’m going back over the draft titles of posts that i meant to write and decided that this would make go practice for me. please note this is not meant to be good. just an excercise to getting back into the swing of words.

he’s not a god.

& yet & still & til this day
my memory bends & breaks
at his feet
my body weeps
folded over into an origami bird
flightless beauty of manipulation
turned art
that easily rips apart
i am devout to disaster.

dear lawd

i forgive u
& i don’t know if gawds can be forgiven
but zora said that we fashion gawds in our own image
& i know how guilt ridden i can be
so, i forgive you for taking my momma
& i understand you wanted good company.

don’t go too far

one day they’ll leave
they’ll sneak their life in a bookbag
or let sum boy/girl borrow it
they’ll ration my portion of it
to minute replies of “everything’s fine”
when i ask to be invited into their day
they’ll assign me as spectator
& store the remaining truths in their locker at school
i know that one day
they’ll question my relevance
&  snicker over their bare shoulders going out the door
bubble gum flavored breath will blow across the threshold
when i talk
i know they won’t be able to hear me over the speakers in their mind
bumping someone’s advice that’s easier to dance to then my complicated jazz
& i’ll have to rifle through their thoughts to find evidence to prove our once upon a time friendship
i know it will all come to soon
they’ll be ready to leave before i’m ready to let go
but i hope i can convince them to not go too far.

its not a love story

when i said goodbye
he searched my eyes for reason
&  then he realized
my pupils were only pools of mud
& not amber
my face was a collection of mismatched memories
& not a horizon of stars
my name was not a melody of syllables
but rather unrhymatic complications to tongues.

& he no longer needed an answer
he could see  it himself
we were not a love story
just a plot twist.

2 Comments»

  trE wrote @

I’m glad you’re practicing… Really, I am…

  kyana wrote @

i love reading your words…

hello 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: