claire can't see me.

a mom who is cooler in words than in life.

Archive for babble

six thoughts: live from the cubicle.

These thoughts were inspired by the six things currently on my desk.

1. Coffee mug: Contingo mugs rock so hard. You can turn them upside, sideways, hap hazardly place them in your purse filled to the brim with cranberry juice and NEVER worry about a single spill. Its cool to have that much faith in something.

2. Badge: I was so proud to finally have a job (although hindsight is 20/20) that in my badge picture i look smug as hell. Like “Yeah, you better had given me this job!”

3. Car Keys: To my BRAND NEW (well new to me) CAR! Okay, I’m not even a hard pressed brand bougie type of girl, but I tell you what…I loveth my almost (barely) new Lexus. Ant took a flight to ATL to get it and drove it home throughout the night. I love him & I love that car almost equally (not really).

4, Ruler: Yesterday I had to input like 500 lines of data and this piece of shit ruler did nothing but hold me back. Its clear with a highlighting strip in the middle…and well…it doesnt work. This was a useless piece of information, I know. And now at #4 I’m thinking…maybe this whole 6 things on my desk is kinda lame. I thought I could turn it into something poetic. So far it looks like I’m running low on inspiration. But, in the spirit of finishing what I start….let’s move on to #5.

5. Purple Sparkly Stapler: We were in Marhsalls and Amel picked it out for me in. She’s such a girly girl. All dresses, pink, fou fou, and tiaras for that girl. Its completely not my style, but whenever I see it I think of her & I’m glad that she’s mine.

6.  iPhone: Just got a text for my girl saying that she’s coming to the APB Dirty 30 in New Orleans in November. APB stands for Aplha Phi Booty, a joke that started ages ago on the campus of Northeastern University. 12 years later & we’re still friends. Special shout out to: Dirty Jers, Patty Rice,  Prof Benton BA-MA-PhD!, Cat Eyes, Brooklyn’s Finest, Dr Ozi, and me–>Squeaktastic.

*7.  (Bonus) Paper clip: When times get rough on the job. Find yourself a paperclip and see how many things you can fashion from that simple piece of wire. Thus far I’m made hearts, S, Z, a square, I’m spelled my name, swirlly thing…… Just a tid bit to help you stay awaye & alert & keep that creative fire alive & well in the cube.


lafayette is alive! & other randomness.

i lub true blood. but, i do fear that it’ll take a page out of the dark angel script  & completely jump the shark. did you see the bull person yesterday? com’on! i can handle vampires, shape shifters & evil church-goers, but a minotaur? seriously? my imagination can stretch but there’s gotta be some damn boundaries. the good news is that my homohomeboy is still alive! & for this simple reason, i’ll still be in attendance on july 12.

i want to go on vacation. unfortunately, just buying a house & going on vacation don’t fit into the same budget. who knew?

my coffee is lukewarm yet & still, i drink it. my laziness will be the death of me. ant says that if he wants to hide something he could just put it under the bed because he knows i will NEVER look under there.

twitter was reDUNKulous last night. the BET awards alone were hilarious (& not on purpose), but add the commentary from everyone i follow & i just couldn’t turn away from the mess on tv or the hate online. i will say though, that negative energy is easy toget caught up in. i went to bed last night complaining about the sound of anthony ironing clothes. &  this morning i was ready to talk about what the preschool teachers were wearing. i gotta shake that shit off. it’s a consuming feeling. but it was funny, so thank you.

but before i completely let go of the hate…here’s my short BET commentary:

– wtf wayne & drake & other no name dudes on stage? why did ya’ll have baby video “actresses” on stage with you while you sang about trying to infect the whole world of girls? that went completely over my head. i’m a big undercover wayne fan, but that made me question my sanity & box up my hoodratted fantasies forever.

– wyclef, i shall be researching if you really came from a hut in haiti.

– beyonce’, beyonce’, braid of chucky-yonce. that was over-indulgent & it appears to me that you’re riding the line between how good you are & how good you think you are a tad bit too closely. i say that with love. (and a little hate on it too.)

– johnny gill sounds like cookie monster.

– tevin campbell still has milk teeth. that’s amazing to me.

– jamie foxx was probably the best person to lead this circus.

– the awards show was no surprise. BET is conflicted just as the black community is conflicted. you have ONE channel trying to represent all things black; that’s black youth, black power, black tradition, black religion, black politics, & black comedy. There’s no way to try & contain all of that into one space without conflicts of interest. it’s like trying to mash up comedy central, mtv, cnn, & christian broadcasting network on ONE channel. it doesn’t work. so don’t blame BET for trying to do it all….blame network execs for making it impossible to include good diverse programs on ALL other channels.


there, i feel better. now let me renew my spirit & say thank you universe that i have my privacy. that i have the ability to make a fool of myself in the comfort of my own home without the world to watch.

now i’ve gotta go clean.

& summer time means…

it's back...

it's back...

my favorite hairstyle is back in effect. the wash, scrunch, & go out the door business. this has been my favorite “style” ( i use the term very loosely) since high school. & since i tend not to sweat, my dripping hair helps keep me cool. ha.

welcome back mousse. welcome back gel. dear & ol’ reliable friends of mine.

i hate new people.

that looks horrible when reading.

let’s try that one again.

i hate meeting new people. sound better? okay…moving forward.

i am an awkward person. i stumble over my wit. i’m hella funny in my head. even funnier in my pjs at home with ant. but in public? i’m all “smile & wave boys, cute & cuddly”…so, instead of working on this deer in headlights reaction…i simply avoid meeting new people or just internally freak out when forced into a conversation with a stranger. there wouldn’t be a problem, generally speaking, but i think this standoffish vibe i reek makes me seem…well…standoffish. i feel like i come off as either snobby, stank, angry, uninterested or a offensive mixture of all of the above.

so…here’s my plan.i’m going old OLD school. i’m gonna make up calling cards like in the victorian days. & instead of forcing myself into making small talk, i’ll point them here. they can check out my bad habits, my horrible grammar, my funny side, my “parenting style”, my opinions & all my public apologies for themselves….& then decide for themselves if they’d like to twitter me & start a conversation based on what they’ve discovered. perhaps by then i’ll be ready for face to face dialogue like a real grown up.  

this sounds so extra…i know. but i’ve got to find another way than what i’m doing now. because as of right now…this is me:

stranger: how’s it going.
me: its going pretty good, thanks for asking. how are you?
stranger: ehh, you know things are going as good as i can get right now. you know with the economy & the weather. there’s just one storm after the other, am i right?
me: yep.
stranger: i guess i could complain more, but i’d rather just sit & smile, you know?
me: hmm.
stranger: so, umm, where are you fr…
this is me ——>walking off to avoid further attempts at talking.

i guess it would be one thing if i wanted isolation. but i’m a people person deep down inside this mess of issues & shame & terrible communication skills. if you’ve seen this of me & i’ve given you that “please don’t talk to me face”…i’m sorry. i do want to talk. i do want to join in on the random jokes. i do want to be apart. but just like in double dutch, i just never know when to jump in & even worse…i don’t know how to double dutch at all to start with. dumb analogy.

anyway….here’s an example of my calling cards.

be my friend, yo.

be my friend, yo. (click to enlarge)


now all i have to do is get up the nerve to give out a card.

sheeeeeit, if it ain’t one thing it’s another.