claire can't see me.

a mom who is cooler in words than in life.

Archive for hatin

lafayette is alive! & other randomness.

i lub true blood. but, i do fear that it’ll take a page out of the dark angel script  & completely jump the shark. did you see the bull person yesterday? com’on! i can handle vampires, shape shifters & evil church-goers, but a minotaur? seriously? my imagination can stretch but there’s gotta be some damn boundaries. the good news is that my homohomeboy is still alive! & for this simple reason, i’ll still be in attendance on july 12.

i want to go on vacation. unfortunately, just buying a house & going on vacation don’t fit into the same budget. who knew?

my coffee is lukewarm yet & still, i drink it. my laziness will be the death of me. ant says that if he wants to hide something he could just put it under the bed because he knows i will NEVER look under there.

twitter was reDUNKulous last night. the BET awards alone were hilarious (& not on purpose), but add the commentary from everyone i follow & i just couldn’t turn away from the mess on tv or the hate online. i will say though, that negative energy is easy toget caught up in. i went to bed last night complaining about the sound of anthony ironing clothes. &  this morning i was ready to talk about what the preschool teachers were wearing. i gotta shake that shit off. it’s a consuming feeling. but it was funny, so thank you.

but before i completely let go of the hate…here’s my short BET commentary:

– wtf wayne & drake & other no name dudes on stage? why did ya’ll have baby video “actresses” on stage with you while you sang about trying to infect the whole world of girls? that went completely over my head. i’m a big undercover wayne fan, but that made me question my sanity & box up my hoodratted fantasies forever.

– wyclef, i shall be researching if you really came from a hut in haiti.

– beyonce’, beyonce’, braid of chucky-yonce. that was over-indulgent & it appears to me that you’re riding the line between how good you are & how good you think you are a tad bit too closely. i say that with love. (and a little hate on it too.)

– johnny gill sounds like cookie monster.

– tevin campbell still has milk teeth. that’s amazing to me.

– jamie foxx was probably the best person to lead this circus.

– the awards show was no surprise. BET is conflicted just as the black community is conflicted. you have ONE channel trying to represent all things black; that’s black youth, black power, black tradition, black religion, black politics, & black comedy. There’s no way to try & contain all of that into one space without conflicts of interest. it’s like trying to mash up comedy central, mtv, cnn, & christian broadcasting network on ONE channel. it doesn’t work. so don’t blame BET for trying to do it all….blame network execs for making it impossible to include good diverse programs on ALL other channels.


there, i feel better. now let me renew my spirit & say thank you universe that i have my privacy. that i have the ability to make a fool of myself in the comfort of my own home without the world to watch.

now i’ve gotta go clean.

jon minus 9

what a sad show. the girls took it pretty hard. not their girls, but my girls. then i had to explain what a divorce was & take an hour of questions pertaining to what would happen if ant & i went down that road.

do i have to choose who to live with?
will you & dad still love each other?
will i have an evil stepmother?
can i have some ice cream?

i want to hate jon. natural response, i’m sure. hate the dude. but then i thought why be ordinary, let’s defend jon. so i went into watching the show ready to back dude up, tell him snatch back his nuts & be a man! BUT, he made an ass backwards comment that made every ounce of possible understanding drain from my heart. “i’m only 32…” WHAT? AND?

now what? now that you’re getting a divorce, you’ll magically not be 32 & obliged to those 8 kids? you could be 42, 22, 82. if you have a child, or eight, them crumb snatchers come way before YOU & your freedom. so what are you excited about? what opportunities wait on the other side of the courthouse doors that got you so “excited” about divorce? another declaration of your youth perhaps?  a tattoo, some more earrings, a new collection of trendy be-dazzled bad-ass t-shirts? really?

i know i don’t know the whole story, just the half that fit perfectly into the story arch created by the TLC people. but, unless you were reading a script…the words you choose were your own. people aren’t supposed to be excited about having to pack up & leave the comfort of watching their kids grow up every moment of the day. so, nope, you gets no love from me. i don’t care if she shat in your oatmeal everyday & bickered you to death about eating it. to your kids, you’ll always be the one that left. & it doesn’t matter what i think of you. but in case you were wondering, you’re a douche bag. not for leaving,but  for thinking that leaving was the answer to fulfilling bigger aspirations.

i need twabble…

…not twitter.

i am way too wordy for tweets. i lack the cleverness that it takes to capture attention in 5 sentences. give me a paragraph to explain my day, situation, feeling, &/or moment. i tend to have to work through my redundancy. i have to do this  in an effort to reach a conclusion that i generally don’t have before starting my first sentence. give me space to fumble over thoughts, as incoherent as them seem. i need useless details. i need to restate the same notion in three different ways.

here’s my last few tweets:

thank you universe that my little people managed to clean their rooms semi-on their own. about 17 hours ago from web.

thank you universe for this good start. slow rise, breakfast ready w/o complaining, green day playing, coffee hot. for this i am thkful. 8:52 AM Jun 11th from TwitterFon 

thank you universe that i am here in this skin, in these thoughts, in this family, in this life.4:15 PM Jun 10th from TwitterFon

 thank you universe because today i made it all the way to my destination before finding my flat tire.4:14 PM Jun 10th from TwitterFon

i’ve been in a grateful mood. but anyone outside of me….do you really want to hear about how awesome your friend’s life is feeling? seriously. i would probably unfollow me. haha. BUT if given the space needed to capture all of my whirlwind thoughts…i would probably make it from grateful to hateful because that’s just how i do.

speaking of twitter, i don’t want to follow my favorite celebs. it completely ruins all industry-made dreams in my head. i like to think of john mayer as a sensitive guy, shy & humble.  too late to turn back now. a room for squares is just a cd now. not an ode to me. just a cd by some dude who’s wears his intelligence like kayne wears his clothes. unappealing.

now i’m following my favorite writers (not favorite favorite, but folks who authored some books i have) & marvel at how uninspired their daily speak is…they’re just like me! woohoo.

well folks, that’s my time.  

follow me on twitter, if you dare.