claire can't see me.

a mom who is cooler in words than in life.

Archive for motherhood

my super power seems to be..

the ability to make my worst fears come true. not worst WORST..but the semi-petty “i could really go for this NOT happening” kind of things. as soon as these flimsy little thoughts leave my head it always seems to occur within minutes.

the secret like a mug, right?

let’s just take today for instance. avery is sick. he’s running a fever, coughing, and breathing heavy. we pull out the breathing machine thingy that all asthma children have & we manage to make it all the way until its time to get the girls from school. we scoop the ladies from their school yard and then proceed on the highway to the doctor’s office which is across town. note: i live in huntsville, across town merely means 15 minutes away from my front door.

as i’m merging on 565 i think to myself  “damn, i forgot wipes! i hope this boy doesn’t crap all over the place”.

5…4…3…2..

“EWWWW avery’s throwing up, MOMMY!”

& just like that my son has managed to get dorito/caprisun scented vomit all over his clothes, amel’s lunch box, his jacket (which he wasn’t wearing!), his seatbelt, his car seat, the little minivan walk way area between the back seats, underneath his seat…..& must i remind you…NO WIPES! & what else did i skillfully forget? a change of clothes! of course!

do i pull over? nope, i just keep driving towards the doc’s office with plans to stop at the gas station before her building to do a clean up. remember i’m on the highway & i have not ONE wipe. what did you think i was going to use, my shirt?  i look in the review mirror & see the girls holding their noses and avery is just sorta stewing in thought.

i know what they were all thinking…”how trifling!”

but i was thinking “let this be a lesson to all those involved”. i hope this stinky experience will teach my girls to be better prepared with their diaper bags in their future mothering lives. & i hope avery learns to pee pee in the potty soon. i’m sure the same reflex that helps you hold piss is somhow related to the holding throwing up down muscle too.

this blog is called unhuxtable for a reason.